About Me

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A unique model - Asian, Alternative and Art Nude all rolled into one petite 5"2 (3/4), 8-10 bundle of joy :) I am a creative individual always on the look out for the new and interesting. I love to play with my environment, experiment and drown in art.

7 December 2014

The Art of Writing

Writing as an art form is something so rarely seen, produced, created, or desired it seems in our 21st century world. This makes me sad. I'll tell you why. You see, I love writing. Well, I used to love writing. I was forever with a pen in my hand and my trusty 'ThinkPad'. This was my book, of plain pages, which harboured random, passing snippets of thoughts or ideas, poetry and doodles, quotes from books or friends, or a note to a memory otherwise forgotten. Every year from the age of eighteen until 23 I'd buy a new ThinkPad as a birthday present to myself. Having been buried among box after box of many house moves, I've never really unpacked them and looked through. So I have no recollection of any of the words or pictures in them. What I do remember though, is years of pen making contact with paper and creating, capturing moments and thoughts, the movement of my hand as it slid across pages. The rustling, brushing sounds which echoed in otherwise a silent room. I remember the smell of the ink, the flattened tip of my index finger as standard.

Over the years writing became a chore rather than a pleasure. It was synonymous with volume, quantity, content, purpose. It needed to be fast, legible and be able to be reproduced. So words were typed, at speed, with little connection felt between my fingers and the pixels which ran along the screen. The words lost the connection which brought them to life. Although the words were meaningful and significant, they lacked the vigour that physically, directly producing them would have provided. Since then, writing in any format has been something only visited when needed - lists, notes, greetings cards and so on. And otherwise digital. Somehow impermanent and whitewashed almost immediately with the movement of social media updates.

Despite my love for words, whether literary or linguistic, I've neglected to foster it over the last five years or so. I've tried half hearted attempts at blogging, short stories, poetry, songwriting and more. But almost all of that had been on screen. The art of writing for me, is not contained only in the semantics and syntax, but in the physical production of the words. The nuances and unique flare found in an individuals handwriting. This is why I am sad. There's a quality to writing which is rapidly being lost and forgotten to all but young children who are taught to write for a future which may not require the skill at all. It's ironic really.

posted from Bloggeroid

15 November 2014


I've found myself surprisingly busy with shoots lately which has been both awesome and a small shock to my system. I've had two shoots as a model and two as a photographer in the last two weeks.

I got thrown into Abbey Street Studio in Derby to shoot Allex, all 6ft+ of her. My little 5ft 2 frame ended up on the step ladder shooting down on Allex and capturing some interesting angles to suit the poses. We did an art nude set to start and onto a quick fire fashion set. Did I realise that was the first time I had shot nudes?! Nope. Totally didn't occur to me. I'm chuffed to bits Allex has used some for her portfolio and they have been well received. I've felt encouraged that I've improved vastly from just beginning to photograph people.

I had worked myself up before shooting as a model into a anxious wreck. I'd forget how to pose, where to stand, how to move, would come across as too try hard in the photos... When it came down to it, I fell totally back into the rhythm of moving and posing and it felt so familiar, like I had never stopped. Zenith is still a little shy to emerge, but there was more of the real me present. And that's where I want to be.

I'm not exactly bowled over with shoot offers at the moment, but I have a steady flow into December booked both in front and behind the camera. Trying to remind myself that it's like starting all over again - new portfolios, new networks, reestablishing myself and my name. But I will. Because I love what I do and want to live my life doing what I love.

posted from Bloggeroid

25 October 2014

Setting up...

So I've spent the last month or so thinking, planning, brainstorming and preparing. After years of modeling, dabbling with photography, getting my degree, aiming for PhD, completing writing the model guidance book, and in the midst of raising two beautiful offspring, I've decided to finally focus on being totally involved in photography, whether behind the camera, in front, arranging events or even one day opening my own studio. That's what I want to do. And like the totally unspoilt, headstrong and willing to work my arse off one woman wonder machine I am, I'll get what I want.

I've ran through my head a number of times, "What sort of photography do I want to do?". I like abstract art, I like contemporary designs, I like macro, little details, capturing the tiny missed details in life. I don't like photographing people. But I like catching moments of their emotion, fleeting thoughts otherwise forever lost, a characteristic unique to that person and that person only. I want to sell art, but photograph what I love. I want to earn a living, but that largely means photographing the drab I despise. I don't want to land in the trap of slogging away clicking the trigger to earn pennies with no zest behind my actions. I want to create, live and live what I do with a passion. Ultimately. And sustain a comfortable standard of living from it. Is that every artists dream?

And I have not been able to resist the lure of modeling again. I feel apprehensive about being in front of the camera again, but I have a co-character in me that can't show her face in day to day life, itching to be let loose. Again, I want the art, the passion, the creative buzz. And I want to sustain a living wage from it too. I've had my fair share of standard same old hobby shoots. While I'm always happy to help out a new photographer, run through the standard sets and poses to develop their portfolio, gain experience and meet lovely photo related people, it becomes somewhat drab when that is 90% of your work for the sake of earning, and only 10% awesome shoots where I can get my creative collaboration on. I don't mean to down on the hobbyist photographers, or those starting out, because that would make me a total hypocrite.

Ideally I'd love to earn money from modelling, to invest in photography and be able to pay the models I book for their time. And eventually earn from just photography and keep modelling as something I love to do for me, not to survive on. So I have a vague romantic vision of an artisan existence earning my bread and butter from living and doing what I love in a haze of creative chaos. Aahhh, sweet idealism.

But underneath all that is my determination and headstrong willingness to get what I want and not let anything stand in my way. By hook or crook. With a collection of random memories in photos rather than regrets of what could have been.

15 September 2014

Zen Art Photography is Alive and well!

Due to months of illness and post operation recovery time, Zen art took last priority in my life for most of 2014. But I'm pleased to say I'm back and ready to roll!

What's new? Well almost everything at the moment :-) Starting with a new camera. Well actually a very old camera - an Olympus E-pen 1 to be precise. It was time to part with my beloved Nikon D70 and discover the wonders of micro 4/3rds at last. Teamed up with my equally as old but much loved Vivitar macro lens, they make an awesome couple and I've been enjoying playing with the combination. Having a screen rather than a view finder is amazing and I even got new glasses! No excuses for poorly focused macro shots anymore :-P

I've spent a week or so signing up new accounts for online stores to sell my work on canvases, as prints and on products. And now have accounts on two major photo stock sites (note to self: join more!!). Including Istock/Getty images which I'm pleased with. I know I'm just a little fish in the sea of some awesome talent all over the world. But I can be awesome talent too if I just do it. I'm putting my all into the photography game as of now. I even scribbled a list of things to do/business plan on an A5 bit of note paper and everything.

This includes rambling and ranting on here now often... A creative mind still needs a linear outpouring somewhere. And now I've finished writing the Guide to Modelling book, yes, *finished* writing the damn thing, I suppose I need to write something else, eh? The book is in the process of being formatted, just needs an edit, proof and off we finally f*cking go! Wooh!

Right now though, I'm loving having my camera in hand regularly again, just need some creative inspiration!

31 March 2013

The Model Mentor book:  

Is WRITTEN!! It's been a long few months of staring at the PC screen with the baby strapped to my chest while I type away.  It's been a long slog at it, and there have been plenty of times I've wondered if I'm really qualified enough to be doling out the advice that I have in there.  But as it went on, it became more and more apparent to me, that I'm nowhere even close to the little 17 year old wannabe model I was once. 

Alright, I still kick arse (when I have the energy these days), and I can still be a gobby little c*w...but I like to think I manage it with a little more maturity and experience now :P  I spent a lot of time reflecting on what it was like when I was a young woman/late teen modelling, how little advice there was, and the sort of attitude I had towards modelling and life in general.  I certainly did some things I wouldn't now! I didn't have the foresight back then to think about future consequences, I thought I knew it all.  As you do when you're 19 or so.  

I'm glad that I can put my experiences and lessons learnt into some sort of useful format now though and hope that it'll be more than useful for many an aspiring model, hope that they can begin a successful modelling career with sage advice from a wrinkly old has-been (alright, I'm two years off 30, so I'm facing facts!) and avoid some of the dangers and pitfalls that can be so easy to come across in modelling.  It's really made me think about how much there is to think about with this modelling malarky, how much of it I seem to inherently, intrinsically know and perform in auto-mode.  I don't really remember 'learning' much of the stuff I have produced whole chapters out of...it's quite odd. 

It's in its final stages now of being formatted, proofed and edited :) It's a great sense of achievement to see it being produced and printed.  And I'm even prouder to have done it while on maternity.  Could not have been done without a huge amount of help, encouragement and contributions from Mr. Ramage of Brightlights Studio (Derbyshire).  I get far too laxy dazy when it comes to pushing myself, the extra poking and prodding was essential to the books completion! 

I've not really thought much about advertising, marketing etc etc, but it seems my reputation precedes me these days and I've built up quite a following of support from new and experienced models, interested photographers, social groups and websites.  It's been a great motivation knowing that there is so much support behind me and a real need for a book like this on the market.  I'm so excited to see it in it's last phase of production and awaiting a publication date :) 

So as I finished writing and left the rest to Mr.Ramage, did I decide to take a break?  Apparently not - I've moved straight onto writing up a PhD Proposal which I have been researching for 18 months...no rest for the wicked! 

9 March 2013

Zen-art :-)

Zen-Art: is born!! Well it's been alive for a while now, just never linked it here.

18 January 2013

Been a busy little bee!!

Well I've barely had the time to breathe let alone blog!! :-).
My baby boy was born in August weighing in at 8lbs and 6 oz, birthed at home in water with his big sister watching his entry/exit.  And I've been chaos since!! I managed a tour to Cambridge and regular shoots until 37 weeks pregnant. The photos I will cherish - in a tutu, Lit beautifully, climbing around a butterfly house, eating zombie brains... You know all the classic maternity shots :-).

I've been writing away in collaboration with a local studio to produce what has become 25000 word modeling mentoring and guidance booklet. There age just the chapters to tidy up and some photos to insert and its ready for the printing.  Its been slow going with having the baby to look after too, so I'm glad it's almost done.  I've built a bit of a reputation for chasing down dodgy togs.  It's shocking how many tossers there are out there.

I've slowly been building up my photography portfolio and uploading pieces to redbubble for sale.  I need to get into more model photography and slot regularly again. But I've been happy experimenting at home. I have ideas and projects in mind which I am planning for later in the year. 

My art and photography page Can be found here:


Going to take the camera out with me later and hopefully capture something in the snow :-).