About Me

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A unique model - Asian, Alternative and Art Nude all rolled into one petite 5"2 (3/4), 8-10 bundle of joy :) I am a creative individual always on the look out for the new and interesting. I love to play with my environment, experiment and drown in art.

28 November 2011

Sometimes It's so worth it.

Every now and again - well, quite frequently actually, I do wonder why I associate myself with an industry that encourages materialism, commercialism and self-obsession.  I always thought I  would try to keep as far out of that as possible, hence focussing on alternative fashion rather than high street or commercial - my own lil attempt at promoting individuality.  Or on art nudes - a celebration of the beauty of a body, a body that lives, and breathes and sees life - not one modified for sexual or monetary gain.


I've got a far from perfect body - I have scars and marks all over me - from injuries and accidents to operations and bearing a child.  My body does what it was intended to do - most of the time.  See - I am going somewhere with this one...


I've had goodness knows how many miscarriages - seriously, I have lost count.  I have had one major emergency operation for an ectopic pregnancy that was almost fatal, luckily I only lost a fallopian tube.  I have had another to rectify the problems I have been left with and all the internal scars from the miscarriages and ectopic.  Safe to say that the child I have got, the only one I am ever likely to have, is IT, my one and only, the only time my body, did as nature intended for it to do.  The only time it was true to it's design as a woman.


From that one successful pregnancy I was left with extensive stretchmarks on my stomach, and fainter ones elsewhere.  I have been left with less than perky boobs from breastfeeding for 13 months...I have a little extra skin in places I'd rather not have extra skin...


So this image, courtesy of Tim Haylock, was as intended in pre-shoot comms, a celebration of my marks, my pregnancy, my daughter and how proud I am of my body for once doing what it was supposed to do. It's an image of mine that over and over again, a lot of models have been referred to when low on self-esteem, when having just had a baby, they worry about modelling again.


And just now, has been commented on by the wonderful and beautiful Helen Diaz:


"I think this image of yours was one of the most startingly frank, honest and inspiring images of a young womans body on a modelling site such as this that I've ever seen.  It's quite unusual to see a model who is so comfortable with their own body and skin, amongst the (lets face it) shallow world of modelling in which people obsess (myself included) over their bodys, weight and flaws.  For me, you are my inspiration, so thankyou." 

It's times like these that I remember, and comments like the above that remind me - I'm not a model to be on trend, to follow the fashion or be a mannequin always ready to parade around as someone else's design.  I'm a real person - and I can only model what I am and what I have been given.  It's times like now that I remember to not feel down when I don't get the work, when I don't 'suit' the style or look.  I'm proud of all my 'flaws' that mark me deep - for all the foundation and concealer in the world can so easily be washed off - my marks are a story of my life.  

Photograph them or not, aesthetic or not...I don't care.  Just wish a few more photographers like Mr Haylock thought the same! 

20 November 2011

Change of Direction?

Zenith is a multi faceted nightmare of a lass.  Seriously - she even annoys me sometimes :p  Generally I've always been a bit of a natural grunge-y goth...sort of.  I don't exactly dress it up, but I do love the grown up goth look rather than all the skulls and strips that float around these days.  I love the art nude work I do, though I admit I'll never be a top art nude model - I just don't have the flexibility, balance or tone for high quality art nude images, though I do try....  I also adore the erotica and fetish work I get away with.  Each genre is simply an area of my personality exhibited and played up enough to create an image.  I guess this is why I can get away with a random mix of variety that I do.

But more and more, I'm missing the natural-born hippy in me.  The floaty dresses, full grass and flowers in the hair me.  And I distinctly lack this in my portfolio these days too. Well, the winter months isn't going to help with that either.  *sigh* Spring can't come sooner!

I really want to get a more gentle and serene addition to my portfolio, explore a whole area of myself and see what Zenith makes of it.  A Gwippy (so I have been dubbed - apparently) - Goth Wannabe Hippy - could make for an interesting style of image, in my mind anyways.  So come the spring, hopefully there'll be a 'new' look to add to the list of my styles and the pics to show it off too. 

In the mean time - heavy eyeliner and studio lights are high on the list! Speaking of - I have a Studio Day booked with the lovely Emma Willis soon.  A whole day of prancing around dressed up and/or naked together is always fabulous fun! We sold out our last studio day together and hopefully we'll do it again! Here's to artistic collaborations :)

13 November 2011

New Profiles

So this week has seen me updating/reinstaing and creating new profiles around the place. 

Two more now active: http://www.madcowmodels.co.uk/Zenith and here: http://www.musecube.com/Shaz-Zenith

They're both slowly getting there with uploading images.  Just so hard to choose what I should use and letting go of old favourites.  It's weird how I hang onto a particular couple of images, despite them not being recent and possibly having better - some scream personal value to me more than 'model portfolio'.  Hmm... I should possibly address this at some point.

Well - I have a set of pics from Tuesday's shoot with a Joel 27 to sort through - we blasted through three sets of Alternative Fashion for my portfolio update with Spirit Model Management and some low-key art nudes for his portfolio.  I'll update about this shoot in more detail when I get the edits back, I reckon. 

In the meantime, I'm off for an early night and a ponder about rusty old tools, lace and studded items of clothing for Friday's shoot... it's never a dull day!

7 November 2011

John Duder 2 (NSFW Pics)

Ok - So here's some of the images from my shoots with John, as promised, in...erm...June? Whoops.

My first shoot with John was the ideal first shoot experience - despite some hiccups in the pre-planning stages, it all came together perfectly in the end.  He's as off the cuff as I am with fetishy/erotica stuff, which makes it easy as pie to collaborate with him on set.  And has no qualms about random props and just seeing what we can swing, so to speak.  So come the second shoot a few weeks later, we were well prepared and blasted through four or five varying ideas and sets, played with masks, violins, cuffs, daggers and pendulums.  Always a fun day :)

He's given me pretty free reign on editing the pics, which has been a good experience for me - and has taught me a lot about the difference between editing better quality pics than I normally get out of my amateur behind the camera experiences.  I hope I haven't screwed them up too much! Anyways, here's some for you to feast on - a selection from both our first and second shoot - and soon enough, I'll have some from out third shoot - this time including the gorgeous Clover and some Shimbari, can't wait!










Took a break and raring to go!

So I haven't really shot since July - I normally take the summer off shooting.  And I've not even tried to arrange shoots until recently.  I have however spent a fair bit of time behind the camera instead and lots of time outdoors instead :p There's been plenty of thoughts ticking through my head with regards to modelling and photography and I've been re-thinking my plan of action and where I want to go with it all. So here - I will keep a record of my progress and lessons and experiences.  Hmmm.... where to start today?

I had a shoot with Edmund Farmer (Kameraden Visual Art) yesterday.  It's been in the planning for a few months and ideas were pretty solid.  I went out and bought a few new outfits to suit the style and the storyboards.  Unfortunately, the day before I was hit with an evil germ-parade through my every cell (ok - I had a bad cold/light chest infection) which knocked me sideways.  On the morning of the shoot - it was mighty tempting to call and postpone, but no.  I couldn't do that.  So we meet, we find out location and we shoot for an hour before Edmund kindly calls it off, satisfied with what we had gotten and agreeing to shoot again sometime.  I'm paying the price for it today, so I'm taking it easy and quiet to be properly healthy for tomorrow's shoot with Joel from Purestorm.  It should be a good update to my portfolio and something new I can send to Spirit Model Management - I desperately need to update my book!

In the mean time, I shall spend today uploading pics that I've been editing and putting out some casting calls. Lesson for today:  Modelling involves lots of time in front of the PC networking, emailing and uploading.  It's no wonder I have a large arse for a model! :p